


When I Pray

by yujaeyong



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Anal Sex, Churches & Cathedrals, Demons, Devils, Devotion, Fluff, Hand Jobs, Horror, M/M, Oral Sex, Questionable Religious Imagery, Religion, Religious Conflict, Smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-12
Updated: 2019-04-12
Packaged: 2020-01-05 07:47:05
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,455
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18361682
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/yujaeyong/pseuds/yujaeyong
Summary: Sicheng knew his prayers were heard. He knew they would be answered. He had faith. He believed.What would he do when he found out who was really hearing his prayers?





	When I Pray

**Author's Note:**

  * For [10softbot](https://archiveofourown.org/users/10softbot/gifts), [glitterjungwoo](https://archiveofourown.org/users/glitterjungwoo/gifts).



> I have wanted to do this for a long time. Reading Sanctify was the first step towards me being able to do finally start thing. I have been listing to 10softbot Sanctify playlist nonstop. I made my own version of that playlist. I took some of her songs but added some of my own. To say 10softbot is an inspiration would be an understatement. Through her, I found many other amazing writers including glitterjungwoo. They are just as much a part of this. So thank you all.

 

 

Sicheng really needed to invest in a new mattress. He always woke up tired, never getting a good nights sleep. Falling asleep was never an issue. It was guaranteed the minute he started praying, he was out like a light. His pastor always joked about it, but it was the truth. He got up and started getting ready for church. This morning he was scheduled to help out with the live stream audio so he had to leave a little earlier than normal.

Sicheng, or Winwin if you asked his close friends and family, had grown up in the church. His family had always been in the bible belt so as far back as he knew they were all churchgoers. He had always gone to church and he liked it that way. He couldn't imagine not being a part of the church, even if it was a different church. He had thought about that a lot. What would happen if he moved somewhere else and had to find another church? He would never leave the church. He might not agree with everything, but he believed in God and he believed the bible.

Lately though, he had been having a lot of...questions. Not doubts per se. He did not doubt God or the bible. He didn't think that was possible. At least not for himself. He recently stumbled upon some stories by a couple of people involving religious aspects but also demonic. He was intrigued, to say the least. Sicheng had always loved to read. He got that from his mother and grandmother. He was destined to love reading. In his teens that led him to find fan-fiction which led to more explicit stories. That is how a month ago, he found himself huddled under his blanket, reading a story about a boy who was lied to but found his salvation through sin and evil. Then came a story of a good Catholic boy who was corrupted by his priest. Sicheng had so many questions after reading these stories. He followed the authors and read more of their works. There was a playlist for the darker story and he saved it, listening to it non stop. He loved the songs about sanctification, pain, the devil, and demons. He couldn't believe what he was doing half the time. He was expecting to get struck by lighting.

What surprised yet scared him the most though, was the fact that all these stories had very explicit sex scenes that took place between two or more guys. He honestly hadn't thought much about relationships or liking anyone. It just never occurred to him. He didn't think he was good enough for someone so he just pushed those thoughts and desires down. He never expected to be turned on when reading these things. He dropped his phone the first time he started getting hard while reading one of the steamier scenes for the first time. He prayed and repented, fearing what might happen. But the more he read the more he realized he didn't find it repulsive or wrong. He knew that is how he should have felt. At least, that is what he was taught growing up. Sex is meant for marriage only. Men do not lay with men. Both are sins.

Sicheng started noticing other guys and how they looked at him. It made him look at himself in the mirror. He always thought himself quite average. Not quite six foot tall, brown eyes, and almost black hair. He had always been thin but lately, thanks to his job, he had slowly started to gain some muscle. Nothing major but enough definition for him to notice. He sometimes would think about being in a relationship. What it would be like to have someone you could love, trust, and rely on. But also someone you could also love and support. He hoped one day he would be able to have that. He wasn’t going to get his hopes up though.

Sicheng grew up with an amazing mother but a shit father. His mother was a calm, quiet, giving woman. She would give up her last dollar to help someone else. She rarely spent money on herself and if she did she always felt guilty about it. He was blessed to have someone like her. His father on the other hand...was a different story. He was emotionally and mentally abusive. Never physical though. His mother would have left if that had happened. So he just treated them like trash.

This wasn’t to say Sicheng had never been in a relationship. He had been in exactly one in his whole 25 years. It had not been good and that did not help the way he felt about himself. He had always felt like he wasn’t good enough and that no one would love him. So he settled. He was in a relationship with a girl for almost five years. It was horrible and he came out of it worse than when he went in. It taught him a lot about himself but also made him pull back from the world even more than he had before. He just accepted the fact that he would be single the rest of his life.

Now that he was gradually noticing guys it made his anxiety skyrocket. Surprisingly his depression stayed about the same, but he was so anxious and nervous around any of friends now it was ridiculous. He didn’t have many close friends. Just one really. One person he could call or text anytime and they would always answer. Her name was Paige. She was 5 years younger than Sicheng, so he had known her all her life. She was always supportive and loved him even when he was with that....person. They would still try to hang out and do things together. During that time, Sicheng and his ex went to a different church, so they didn’t see his mother or Paige hardly at all. Once they split up, he started going back to his home church. No one questioned him. He was welcomed with open arms and it made the transition so much easier.

Paige had gotten an idea of what Sicheng was up to when he made a second Instagram account and started liking and posting pictures of guys kissing. Somehow it got linked to his Facebook and Paige text him one night. He was so worried for a good five minutes, but she just laughed it off. Even sending him a few links to posts. He quickly deleted that account. He didn’t want anyone seeing it that wouldn’t understand.

This went on for about six months. He would read his stories. Comment anonymously on a few things. Check out guys as they walked past. But it never went past that. He just lived his life like he always did, not knowing today would change everything.

He walked into his room after showering and getting dressed. He checked his phone and saw he actually had ten minutes before he needed to leave so he decided to pray. He knelt down by his bed and laid his head in his hands. “Lord, thank you for this day and all your wonderful blessings. I know I’ve been struggling lately but I have faith and trust that with you by my side I will make it through. I’m sorry for any wrongdoings and ask for your forgiveness. Amen”. He got up, checked to make sure his hair looked okay and headed out the door.

The drive to his church was about twenty minutes across town. He had just recently moved into a small apartment of his own. After the split with his ex he moved into his grandmother's house. His mother was staying there so she could take care of her mother who had dementia. Sicheng didn’t know how his mom handled it before he moved in. It really helped his mom out that he was there to help out just as much as they helped him out by letting him stay there. After his grandmother passed, he started looking for his own place. It took him a bit but he finally found somewhere small and affordable. He liked it even though it was different. This was his first time living alone.

It was a nice early spring day so he rolled his windows down and turned up his music. He loved music. Had it playing almost all day long. One of the stories he read recently had a playlist the author made to go along with the story and he had been listening to it non-stop. It honestly surprised and somewhat worried him how much he liked this playlist. He had recently gotten into Kpop and that was all he had been listening to for a good 8 months straight. Now that he had this playlist though...he hadn’t looked back. It was very dark and he knew for sure that no one at his church would approve. Songs like Sanctify, Devil Devil, Haunting, and A Little Wicked. They were nothing like what he thought he should be listening to, but he couldn’t help it. He loved it.

He pulled into the parking lot and parked next to Justin, Paige’s boyfriend. He grabbed his stuff and made his way inside. It was early enough he was able to make it to the kitchen and grab some coffee without having to talk to anyone. He wasn’t unfriendly, but he liked to avoid being social if possible. He went upstairs to the mixer and sat down. This morning it was his job to handle the audio mix that would be broadcast on their live stream. This was his favorite thing to do. He would do anything Bro and Sis Mars asked him to, but he thought he did the best at this.

The service was about to start when someone thumped him on the shoulder. He took his headphones off and turned around. Paige was standing there with a goofy grin on her face. “Hey pest. What do you want?” That was her go-to nickname that practically everyone used. “Nothing just saying hi. I’ll see you after church.” He smiled and watched her walk down the stairs in her heels. She was pretty short, close to five feet, so she wore a lot of high heels. Dating Justin made it worse since he was close to six three.

This mornings service went pretty good. Nothing major going on for Sicheng. Someone did forget to unmute pastors microphone but that wasn't his fault. He couldn't help it if the person running the pa downstairs wasn't paying attention. He turned off all the equipment that he was using and headed downstairs towards the kitchen. A few years ago they had started a Hispanic work in the back of the church and they had slowly grown big enough that they needed the large auditorium. Now on Sunday afternoons, they had service and sometimes Sicheng and some other people from the morning service would stay and help. Because of this, they rarely had time to get lunch so they started doing a sort of potluck with another family. They would trade off bringing food each week. This week the Browns had brought bbq pulled pork for sandwiches. Sicheng was the first one in the kitchen so he quickly ate his food. He didn't want to hang around today. Today he was going to go home instead of staying for the Hispanic service. He wasn't scheduled to help out anyway.

He turned around to throw his plate away and his mom walked into the kitchen. "Hey, honey. Are you staying today or are you going to go home?" He knew she wouldn't be happy with him going home, but she never bugged him about it.

"I'm gonna go home today. I didn't sleep well last night at all. I'm not scheduled to do anything this afternoon." He walked over to get himself another cup of coffee. He really wished caffeine would do something for him, but it never did. He drank coffee just for the flavor.

"Okay, I guess I'll see you tonight. If I make it home in time we can ride together if you want."

"Yea that's fine. The latest I will leave will be five thirty I think. I'll see you later." He grabbed his stuff and headed towards his car. Luckily it was still early enough that there wasn't really anyone to run into on the way out. He saw Paige in the auditorium and waved goodbye. It was surprisingly nice out today. Spring had just begun and Sicheng was enjoying it. He would love to wear long sleeves and hoodies all year round if he could. It was still just cool enough that he could do that.

He got in his car and scrolled through his playlist. Lately, he had really liked the song Palo Santo. He would shuffle the playlist but start off with that song. He drove out of the parking lot heading home and let his mind wander, thinking about things he kept encountering in the stories he was reading. The main thing being homosexual relationships. He could wrap his head around the darker topics, for the most part, but the guy on guy stuff...he just couldn't seem to...accept as being something he was allowed to enjoy. He almost couldn't explain it to himself. He obviously knew there were guys that liked other guys, but because of his upbringing, it was almost impossible for him to believe it was an okay thing. He knew he didn't care who people loved. He never had. For as long as he could remember he felt that way. He just tended to keep it himself because of how the people in his church felt about it. He always said what he thought about something didn't really matter. It was between those people and God. Whether it be right or wrong. He would love someone for who they were not who they loved.

This was giving him a headache. He was going to have to lay down when he got home at this rate. He pulled into his parking spot outside his apartment and shut the car off. He got out and grabbed his stuff, heading towards the building. He was lucky enough to find an apartment in a building that had an elevator. He never really liked the idea of the apartments that looked like motels. On his way up to the fifth floor, he thought about what he might have for lunch. As he was thinking he noticed a shadow of some sort in the murky reflections of the silver elevator doors. He turned to look behind him even though he knew it was impossible for anything or anyone to be in the elevator with him. It was empty when he got on. When he turned around, of course, nothing was there. He must really be sleeping bad if this kind of stuff was starting to happen. He shook his head and exited the elevator taking a left to his apartment.

He opened the door and walked in, putting his keys and wallet in the little bowl by the door. He kicked his shoes off and headed to the kitchen to grab a water and snack. He was honestly too lazy to cook. He got his water and took an apple and banana to his room. He ate the fruit while sitting on his bed and scrolling through his phone. He was just messing around until he was done eating, then he was going to take a nap. Once he threw his trash away, he plugged in his phone, turned some music on and rolled over on his bed. He was seriously going to have to search for a new mattress after he got paid next week. He was almost asleep when a noise startled him. He sat up and looked over at his tv. A dvd case that was sitting on the tv stand was now on the floor. He rolled his eyes and went to pick it up. Stuff like this had been happening a lot lately. It was starting to annoy him. As he went to turn around he noticed a similar reflection in his tv screen as he had seen in the elevator. Again, he turned around and looked, knowing no one was there, and again there was nothing. "Oh my God Winwin, this is ridiculous. And now you're talking to yourself. Great." He decided maybe he should pray before he laid down. That should help.

He knelt down beside his bed and started to pray. "Lord Jesus, please give me peace and help me calm down so I can rest before church tonight. I would really appreciate it if you could help me out. Thank you. Amen." He sat there on his knees for a minute, resting his head on his mattress. It was always hard for him to pray. He knew prayers could and would be answered. Especially for other people. But he never felt like they would be for him. He didn't feel good enough. It didn't matter how many people would preach about God meeting you where you were and not having to be perfect and blah blah blah. He just couldn't believe that. He was too messed up. Had made too many mistakes. He didn't deserve forgiveness or love. He wasn't worthy. He didn't realize he was getting worked up. His heart was beating faster and his breathing was becoming somewhat labored. He heard the noise again and looked to see that same dvd on the floor. "What in the hell?" He had recently started picking up some words from his coworkers that he hadn't ever used before. That and the stories he read had been influencing his speech a lot lately.

He could feel it coming on. Almost a panic attack. He would have times like this where he would just get overwhelmed and didn't know what to do. He would start crying and shaking. This time it was a little worse. He cried into his bed sheets, trying to calm his breathing. "Please, just make it stop. I can't handle much more of this." He felt the room grow cold. He went to get up but could not move. He was starting to freak out. What was going on? He was breathing hard again on the verge of hyperventilating when he felt something brush again his back. He jerked but still couldn't move. Tears were falling, soaking his sheets. He was scared and could do nothing but hope and pray whatever this was ended soon. He began whispering, afraid of being too loud. "Lord Jesus. I don't know what..."

He heard a strange noise coming from behind making him stop mid-sentence. It sounded almost like a low but quiet growl. "You know, if you stopped praying to that imaginary god of yours and started calling on me you might be surprised how quickly you got an answer." Sicheng's eyes grew wide. Someone was in the room with him and he had no idea how they got in. He was beyond scared. More tears began to fall. He had no idea what to do. He felt his bed shift and then a hand on his head. They slowly stroked his hair and made a shushing noise. "Calm down my child. It will be okay. You will see." Slowly his breathing returned to normal and the tears stopped. The room had warmed up and was able to move. He wasn't sure if he wanted to see who was sitting on his bed or not.

Sicheng slowly sat back on his heels and looked at the person next to him. He didn't know what he was expecting but it was not a breathtakingly beautiful boy who looked to be close to his age. He looked rather normal if you thought about it. Black t-shirt and jeans. Black Converse. He had flawless skin and beautiful black hair...and black eyes. They were completely black with the only color being his red-rimmed irises. They were so thin you almost couldn't tell there was any color in them at all. He fell back on his backside and scooted up against the wall. 

"What..who...how..." He couldn't get a sentence out. Barely a word. 

"Winwin my dear boy. Please calm down. Take a deep breath and ask me what you like."

"How do you know my name." Who was this guy and how did he know anything about Sicheng? Especially his nickname.

"Oh my child, I know everything about you." He smiled and it almost seemed genuine.

Sicheng tried again. "Okay...Who are you? Why are you here? How did you get in?" He was starting to get worked up again. He did not need to have another episode with some strange guy in his bedroom.

"I have always been with you, you just didn't realize it. I am here to help you. You asked for help didn't you? And who am I?" He got up and walked over to Sicheng. He knelt in front of him putting his finger under his chin to make him look him in the eyes. "I am Ten, the all-consuming darkness who answers when you call out. I am the one you will worship." Sicheng was growing faint. He didn't understand. He tried to back further away but his shoulder blades were already digging into the wall. "Let me show you. Then you will understand." He took his finger running it across his bottom lip and with the flick of his wrist it was bleeding. He leaned forward and watched Sicheng's eyes grow wide. "You will see and believe." He lightly pressed his lips against Sicheng's letting the boy get used to it before he slowly moved his lips. Sicheng whimpered causing his lips to part. Ten took advantage of this and slipped his tongue inside. Sicheng felt like he was in a furnace, burning alive but without the pain. It was strange. Ten pulled away and let his head rest against Sicheng's. "Now see and remember."

Sicheng closed his eyes and a rush of memories came back to him. He was young, so young he couldn't fully see the memory but he could feel the fear. Overwhelming fear, and then it was gone. Next, he saw the time when he was five and a cat had attacked him. He has cuts all up and down his arms. He had run home crying but before he could walk up the driveway he realized the pain was gone. He stopped and looked down. The scratches and blood were gone. Then he was 7 and a man at a water park had pulled him aside and tried to get him to meet behind the bathrooms. Even going so far as to pull his swim trunks down and show Sicheng what was to come. And the time in high school when he had felt so alone that he prayed for someone, anyone to be his friend. That day a new student showed up and they had become best friends. 

He pulled back opening his eyes, tears slowly running down his cheeks. He looked at ...Ten...Was that his name? Ten reached out and wiped the tears from his cheeks. "I was always by your side. I will forever be by your side." Sicheng looked at him. "You said your name is Ten? Is that really your name or is that a nickname?" Ten sat down across from him rolling eyes. "It is my real name."

"Oh okay. I was just curious. So, the things I saw. I remember most of them, but what was the first thing? I couldn't really see anything. But I felt the pain and the fear."

"Do you mind if I call you Winwin? I have always liked that nickname." Sicheng shook his head. Why would he mind? "Well Winwin, when you were a baby...around one but not quite two, you had night terrors. Horrible nightmares that your mother could do nothing about. You were so young the doctors couldn't do anything for you. I did not want to interfere with you being so young at the time, but eventually, your mother's prayers turned into desperate cries for help and she stopped being specific about who she asked. She finally asked for someone, anyone to help and that is when I decided I had to help. I took those dreams, those nightmares upon myself so you wouldn't have to experience them. The other memories were similar situations."

He couldn't believe what was happening. Couldn't wrap his brain around it. He sat up a little bit getting more comfortable. "So, can I ask you some questions? I am having a hard time with all this?"

"Of course you can. Ask me anything you want. I have nothing to hide from you." Ten sat cross-legged with his palms facing up on his knees in a show of openness. 

"Are you the devil? You can't be God, right? Is there really a God? Why haven't I seen you before? Why did you show up now? What in the hell is actually happening?" He stopped to catch his breath, the questions tumbling out of his mouth.

"Calm down and let me answer these first. No, I am not God or the devil. There is no God or devil like you think there is. That bible of yours didn't get much of it right. Those are mainly just stories written by men. Some things in there did happen but they had nothing to do with this supposed God you all go on about. If you want to label me something, a demon would probably be the closest to what I actually am. Or an abomination. People who don't like me tend to use that term. I am the darkness within; Unholy, unrighteous, sinful, and many other things." He smiled and Sicheng couldn't help notice he looked beautiful, even with the blood that was still slowly running down his chin. He thought the blood made him more beautiful if that was possible. "You have not seen me before because I didn't think you were ready to see me, but with everything you have been reading and thinking lately, I thought you might be getting closer. When you were starting to panic and asked for it to stop I had to step in. I couldn't see you hurting anymore. I didn't mean to scare you of course but there wasn't any outcome realistically where that wasn't bound to happen."

He thought about everything Ten was telling him. It sounded so crazy but he realized that he was feeling less and less anxious. He was feeling peaceful. For once his mind wasn't racing. It was quiet in his head. He still didn't completely understand. He didn't think it was possible for that to happen anytime soon, but he did know that he felt the most at ease in his whole life in the last fifteen minutes. He might not know what was going to happen but he knew he appreciated everything Ten had done for him.

He sat up on his knees and crawled towards Ten. He put his hand on the ground on either side of Ten's crossed legs and leaned forward putting his head in the middle of Ten's chest. "I still don't really understand what is going on but I know that I am grateful for everything you have done for me. Thank you." Slowly tears started to fall again. Ten put his hands on the boy's cheeks and brought his face level with his own. "It is my pleasure Winwin." He pressed a tender kiss to Sicheng's lips, nothing more than a quick peck. 

Sicheng pulled back, a small blush creeping up his neck and towards his ears. "I...like kissing you but..." He scoots back up against the wall ashamed. But now he's not sure why he feels this way. Is it because Ten is a guy or because he feels unworthy?

"Winwin, what are you thinking? If you liked it then what is wrong?" He didn't like seeing this side of Sicheng. He hates that anything has made him feel this way. "I feel bad for liking it. You're a guy. I grew up believing that is wrong...and even if I didn't think it was wrong I am not good enough for this. I don't deserve you're love or affection or anything else you want to give me."

The next thing Sicheng knew he was being hauled up and pushed against the wall. "Don't you fucking think like that do you hear me?" Ten had one hand on the wall beside his head and the other was holding his jaw forcing him to look into his eyes. The red irises were much thicker now almost consuming his pupils. This must be what angry Ten looked like. "But Ten...I am so screwed up. I have messed up in so many ways I can't even count."

"You know how those preachers always said you could come as you are and you didn't have to be perfect? Well, that is one thing they got right. That is exactly how I feel about you Winwin. I have made mistakes. I am not perfect so how could I ask you to be? I will never turn my back on you. I will never deny you anything. Just let me in. You will feel me in your bones and you will never be alone again."

He crashed his lips against Sicheng's. Nothing about this kiss was gentle. This was demanding. He pushed his knee between the boy's legs rubbing against his clothed cock, making him moan. Ten took the opportunity to slide his tongue into Sicheng's mouth, exploring, tasting. He had waited so long he was not going to be patient this time. Sicheng moaned being overwhelmed by everything that was going on. His mind was getting hazy from lust. He had never experienced anything like this before. 

Ten pulled back and pushed him down on the bed. "Lay down baby boy and let me show you what worship really is." He stripped down to his boxers and climbed on top of Sicheng. "Winwin you have no idea how long I have waited to show you my love. The devotion you have to that church, I have more for you. You won't believe what will become of us." He pushed the other's knees apart and settled between them putting his full weight on the boy, grinding their cocks together. Sicheng couldn't believe how hard he had already become. He let out a low moan throwing his arm over his face, embarrassed. "Oh, I don't think so baby. I want to see your face as I ruin you."

Ten leaned down and starting kissing along his jaw biting here and there. As he made his way down to his collar bone he started marking the boy. He loved seeing Sicheng wrecked underneath him. Loved the little sounds that were coming from those pretty lips. He pulled back, catching his breath. "Winwin...I gave you a taste of me earlier. Will you let me have a taste now? Will you trust me?" How could he say no? He shook his head yes and saw Ten's eyes practically dancing with excitement. "Thank you, baby."

He bit down where Sicheng's shoulder and neck met. Just hard enough to break the skin. "Ahh...oh....mmm." He had not anticipated it feeling this good. It stung when the skin was broken, but now, with Ten lapping at the wound, it felt oh so good. Ten looked at Sicheng, "You taste so good baby boy. I can taste your love and your desire. Your willingness and devotion." He kissed him again letting him taste himself along with the lingering blood from Ten's lips. He never thought he would have enjoyed something so...dark and, what he would have called it before, sinful. 

"Please Ten. Please touch me. I'm going crazy." He was panting. He couldn't take the friction that was coming from Ten continually grinding down on his clothed cock.

"Okay baby. Let's get you undressed so I can make you feel amazing." He helped the boy remove his clothes one by one. He removed his own boxers letting his aching erection spring free. Sicheng couldn't believe what he was seeing. Ten was a masterpiece. He could imagine himself worshiping this body any way he asked him to. "Do you like what you see baby boy?" Sicheng blushed but nodded. "I can't wait to have you writhing beneath me. Begging for more."

Ten got back in the position he was in before, grinding their hard cocks together. This time though, there were no clothes between them. Sicheng saw white, the pleasure overwhelming. "Fu...Oh my...Ten" He didn't know what to say. Ten kept a slow rhythm grinding back and forth. "Say it, baby, Fuck it feels good. You feel so good." Sicheng blushed but felt compelled to obey. "Fuck Ten. It feels so good. Please touch me." Ten kept up the slow motion but put his hand in between them and slowly wrapped his hand around Sicheng, slowly pumping. "Is this what you wanted? Wanted my hand around your hard cock? You're so needy already I love it."

Sicheng started to thrust up into Ten's fist, the burning sensation in his stomach growing. "Wait...please. It feels so good. But..." Ten understood and let go. "I know. Here, suck." He pushed two of his fingers into the boy's mouth and moaned. The feeling of Sicheng's tongue on his fingers was overwhelming. It felt better than he imagined. Once he thought they were good and wet he pulled them out and pushed the other's knees further apart. "Now this will hurt but I will make you feel oh so good baby boy so just be patient."  
  
Ten leaned down and nuzzled his balls before licking across his pink hole. Ten loved his taste. He could just eat him until he came untouched. But that was for another time. Sicheng's moans brought him back to the present and he slowly pushed past the rim with his first finger. Sicheng scrunched up his face as his breathing sped up. "Don't hold your breath. Breathe out your nose if you have to. Try to relax." He tried his best to do as Ten told him to. As he pushed his finger further in he could see Sicheng relax just a little. "That's it. If it's too much tell me and I will stop." He started to slowly pull his finger out and push it back in. He wasn't looking for the boy's sweet spot. He just wanted him to feel good from the prep. After a minute Sicheng started pushing back and making even more lovely sound so Ten added his second finger. Sicheng felt the stretch but it wasn't as painful as the first. It was a more pleasurable pain. He couldn't believe how good this felt. Ten was pushing his fingers back in when he decided he wanted more. "Please Ten. I need more. Please" Ten smirked and added a third finger watching the boy's mouth fall open from the overwhelming feeling. 

Once Sicheng started really grinding down on his fingers he thought he was ready. "Okay baby. You don't happen to have lube do you?" He blushed and shook his head no. "It's okay. How about you help me out then? Suck on my cock and get me ready." Again Sicheng blushed but he lightly pushed Ten down on the bed and crawled between his legs. "I've never done this before but I will try my best." Ten smiled, "I know you will."

He took Ten in his hands, enjoying the weight and heat. He slowly pumped his hand a few times to see what would happen. "Oh baby boy, don't tease." He nodded and leaned forward sticking his tongue out. He licked the precum off the tip and licked the slit. Ten hissed, "Fuck Winwin...shit that feels good." He was enjoying the fact that he was making Ten feel this way. He took the tip in his mouth and swirled his tongue around it, lightly sucking. He gradually took more and more in his mouth until his nose was resting against Ten. 

Ten thought he was going to die from the pleasure Winwin was giving him. "Shit do you not have a gag reflex? That's fucking amazing baby." Sicheng hummed in response making Ten moan. "Okay baby boy. I think that's enough. Lay back down. I wanna fuck that tight ass. I can't wait to feel you around me." Sicheng blushed but did as he was told. He laid back and spread his legs pulling Ten into a slow but deep kiss. He was already addicted to kissing Ten. He never wanted it to stop. He pulled away breathless. "I love kissing you." He smiled and Ten loved the dusting of pink across his cheeks. "I love it too baby." It was odd to Sicheng, looking into black eyes, but he still felt he could see kindness and lust within them. 

Ten lined himself up with Sicheng's entrance and looked at him, "Try to relax. This will hurt at first but I promise it will feel better." Sicheng nodded ready to feel Ten inside him. Ten slowly pushed in and let out a low groan. "Fuck...fuck your so tight babe." He couldn't believe how amazing it felt. He was a little afraid he might pass out. He looked down and saw Sicheng had closed his eyes, tears starting to form at the corners of his eyes. "It's okay baby. Just breath. Let me know when you're good." "Sicheng nodded and took a deep breath. "Give me just a minute. It hurts but it feels so good." He looked at Ten and smiled, pulling him close. "Please move."  
  
"Okay. You're so tight I don't know how long I'll be able to last but I will make for damn sure you feel amazing." He kissed Sicheng as he slowly pulled out and pushed back in, causing them both to moan. Sicheng buried his head in Ten's shoulder. "Oh shit...Ten...It feels so good. You feel so good. Please..." Ten pulled back and looked at him, continuing his slow pace. "Please what baby boy?" Tears were still streaming down Sicheng's face but now they were from frustration and pleasure, not pain. "Please...faster...deeper...I want more of you. All of you."

"If you're sure. I want to ruin you and tear you apart...but I don't want to hurt you." Sicheng nodded and Ten slammed into him but pulled out slow. He kept this rhythm up watching the boy writhe beneath him. Ten took him in his hand and started pumping his cock in time with his thrusts, causing Sicheng to cry out. "Ten...Oh my...It's too much. It feels too good." He angled his thrust slightly to the left and Sicheng swore he saw stars. Ten smirked knowing he found his sweet spot, making sure to abuse it.

Ten held onto Sichengs hip and put the other around his throat, not really squeezing, but more in a show of dominance. Possessiveness. "Feel me. All of me. I will devour you from the inside out. You will know nothing but me, do you understand? You will live and breath for me. You will die an be reborn for me." He bit his bottom lip causing it to bleed. He kept up his relentless pace as he leaned down and kissed Sicheng, the boy moaning into the kiss, letting Ten explore his mouth. He pulled away and Sicheng was breathless, flushed, and beautiful. "Do you understand me baby boy? I will never let you go."

Sicheng nodded, trying to talk while Ten slammed into him over and over, "Fuck...Yes. I don't...understand everything yet...But I believe you...I trust you. I am yours." Ten smiled, blood running down his chin onto his chest. "Ten...fuck I'm gonna..." He didn't finish as his orgasm took over causing him to tremble. Ten kept pumping him through the aftershocks, loving the look of his cum covered chest. "I'm gonna fill you up baby, fuck you're gonna be so full of my cum...fuck Winwin", and with a few more thrusts he was filling the boy up. 

He slowly pulled out of Sicheng and collapsed next to him on the bed, trying to calm his breathing. He pulled Sicheng into his chest and kissed his forehead.

"Ten...", he blushed, still embarrassed about everything that just happened.

"What is it?" he looked down into the boy's beautiful brown eyes.

"Just...thank you." He leaned up and kissed Ten, licking the blood off his lips. Ten let out a low growl, causing Sicheng to giggle. "And what's so funny?" he asked narrowing his eyes.

"You just sounded kinda cute when you growled at me." He was blushing. Again. But he didn't care this time. 

"Me. Cute. I guess you're right. I am cute aren't I?" He laughed and kissed Sicheng. "I need to thank you too, Winwin. I could have done all this by sheer force. Taken what I wanted. But you were willing and that makes me so happy. I know there is still a lot to talk about. More for you to understand." Sicheng nodded. He agreed with Ten. 

"I know. I can't imagine what else you're going to tell me, but whenever the time comes, I will be ready."

"Come, let's go shower. We're both nasty." Ten got up and pulled Sicheng into the bathroom. They took a quick shower. No funny business. Sicheng was too sore. There were a few sweet kisses here and there, but that was all. As Sicheng was drying off, Ten was getting dressed. 

"Ten, I need to talk to you about the church." Now that got the others attention. He whipped his head around and looked at Sicheng. "Okay, but what is there to talk about?" He sat down on the bed and patted it. Sicheng sat down and looked at him. "I know things have changed but I still want to help out as I have been. Is that possible? Would you let me do that?" He honestly didn't know what the other would think of that. He was kind of worried.

Ten looked at him for a good 3 minutes before responding. "As long as we have an understanding. You don't worship their false god. You can go about the same as before but you inside you must be different. You are mine. You worship me. Do you understand." Sicheng couldn't believe he was actually going to let him go back. He pulled Ten into a hug and kissed behind his ear. "Thank you. This means the world to me." He pulled back and looked at Ten, taking his hand. "I understand. I am wholly yours. Forever." 

Ten smiled. "Good boy. Well, if that's the case I will leave you be." He got up and Sicheng looked confused. "You're leaving?" 

"Oh baby, I will always be with you. But I am not going in that wretched place. Here, give me your hand." He took Sichengs hand in his and punctured the middle of his left palm. He licked the blood off. Sicheng thought he was sucking the blood out of his palm but when Ten pulled away there was black under his skin. Where there used to be a blue vein, it was now black. "A piece of me will always be with you now. How about that?"

Sicheng hugged him again kissing his cheek. "Thank you Ten."

"You are most welcome. I will see you again soon." Sicheng was looking at his hand and when he looked up Ten was gone.

He sighed contentedly laying on his bed, staring at the ceiling. He thought about everything that had happened in the last few months. The signs and the ways Ten had been slowing seeping into his life. He smiled. He couldn't believe what had happened but when he looked at his hand he knew it was true. The black was still there, proof that Ten was real, proof that what he had always known, had been taught, was false. He honestly wasn't even upset. How could he be when he had everything he had never know he was looking for. For once in his life, he was excited about the future.

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> [sanctify playlist](https://open.spotify.com/playlist/0S32lBFlmVjJoUdAJuXIk7)   
>  [my playlist](https://open.spotify.com/playlist/5zQI39YHUCP1evSxqQ55ap)   
>  [nsfw twt](https://twitter.com/JaehyunNakamoto?lang=en)   
> 


End file.
